i give up

someway somehow i still don't know how far this relation will get along. i love him but to much scar he gave me and i cant 'earn' it anymore...i wish i could cry more now to not let maself cry in front of him, just to show him how strong i can be even without him. i think i getting enough of everything about him. seriously i cant stand it anymore. there are issue now in ma heart, it is either i luv him or i hate him so much because he hurt me that much.

i remember...

i remember last time i was so young and so called naive. when i looked at agun at the first time, i thought that she's live in her own world, and yeah, i thought she can't dance. time passed by, she is my best friend and always be my bestie. i remember last time in ayuki's room, KG A BLOK D. there were the place we goin crazy. we smoked there, we ate together there, i even went there everytimes i cried. there are so many memories i cannot forget until this freaking hard time. i miss all my crazies bitches...and i really do..hope we can spent time together like before...i always love you guys...

i'll burn the fear to become fearless...

sometimes i curse, i can't stop it cuz that s the only way i can release d pain in ma heart.sometimes i see people try to put d blame on me. do i care? DEPENDS. to run off out from this feeling, i swear it is hard and i'm might get hurt. in a way to release my stress, i need to build castle in d sky. it'll start with i wish. i wish, i am relaxing maself in a beach...somewhere people don't even know or care about me, so i can just throw over maself to do whatever i want. i wish i have a tattoo where i can feel d pain in ma body as if it can reduce d pain in ma heart. i wish d road all along in KK belongs to me so i can drift as fast as i want it. damn freaking easy only if i just could live with i wish. but for all this time, i just need to face ma fear. i can survive, i will. 
 after all i've been thru, i know i can face it, i know i'm a strong gurl, i know there nothing impossible in this world, i know life only once so i can decide whatever i want. i just need a courage...i have to be tough than ever, i have to face it no matter what. maybe i should get a new life...yeah i should and i'll live ma life... yeahaaaa...